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Assault on America, Day 336: Impeachment, Joe Biden, Pete, Ozzy, and the politics of weirdness

Joe Biden Hairy Legs
And then there was one.

We’re not talking about the eventual winner of the 2020 Democrat nominating race. There can only be one candidate standing after party members adjourn from their convention next summer (though there could easily be more than one hopeful alive heading into the meeting), but the quadrennial political scrum is about to commence and incredibly, only one of the contest’s polling leaders is likely to be present on scene when the shouting -- and the voting -- starts in a little over sixty days.

Be prepared: This looks to be the scenario very soon:
News radio voice on February 3 in Iowa: “Hawkeye State Democrat voters head to their caucus meeting places tonight and South Bend Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg plans to personally greet and schmooze as many of them as possible before the six o’clock start time this evening. The 38-year-old Democrat is the lone top-tier presidential candidate present in state as the other major contenders, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden are confined to Washington DC participating as jurors or key witnesses in the senate impeachment trial of President Donald Trump. Buttigieg swears he won’t consciously take advantage of the others’ absences to tilt the race in his favor.”

With President Trump’s announcement earlier this week that he won’t be taking part in the Democrats’ House Judiciary Committee impeachment farce, it’s become increasingly evident that the minority party will one, pursue formal impeachment of the president under its own authority -- and only its own authority -- and two, that the process won’t be completed in time to avoid a direct clash with the Democrat presidential caucuses and primaries. Yesterday marked two-months ‘til C-day (caucus day) in Iowa and candidates are getting down to the nitty-gritty in planning the details on how they’ll spend their final hours in the push to the vote.

But impeachment serves as the 800-lb. gorilla in every Democrat’s room now. It’s the DC-based, 2016 election cancelling witch hunt that’s involuntarily drawn every liberal into the fray without hope of escape and could very well end up impacting the outcome of the Democrat contest. With the nation’s -- and especially Democrat voters’ -- attention focused elsewhere, Buttigieg, the fledgling medium-sized city mayor, could find himself practically alone in Iowa on February 3.

Will it be open (Boot-edge-edge) season on Iowa’s voters? Emily Larsen reported at The Washington Examiner, “The end of Pete Buttigieg’s term as mayor of South Bend, Indiana, on Dec. 31 comes at a fortuitous time for him in the Democratic presidential race, freeing him from mayoral obligations a full month before the first state nominating contests begin while his competitors tend to Washington obligations.

“Buttigieg, 37, will become a full-time candidate as most of his primary competitors are due to be pulled away from Iowa and New Hampshire so they can sit in the Senate observing impeachment proceedings against President Trump. Joe Biden, 77, is the only other top-tier candidate able to campaign unrestricted, but he has been sticking to what one Democrat described as an ‘old man schedule.’

“If the House impeaches Trump before Congress’s winter recess, a Senate trial could take place around the Feb. 3 Iowa caucuses and Feb. 11 New Hampshire primary. That severely complicates a crucial time period for the six senators seeking the Democratic presidential nomination...”

It’s a candidate’s dream. A state full of voters and no one else to impede your access to them. Opportunities like this don’t come along often -- if ever -- and Buttigieg would have to be a fool not to take the chance and run with it.

Envision a hungry killer whale alone in a tank full of helpless seals. All Pete needs to do is pick his prey and open his mouth. Impeachment ain’t looking so appetizing anymore to the Democrat senators. Liz, Bernie, Amy, Cory and Michael (Bennett) are finding out how restricting it will be. (note: Kamala Harris doesn’t worry about it any longer -- she dropped out! Good riddance!) Even Joe Biden could be trapped under a very large DC swamp impeachment scandal if Republicans and Mitch McConnell (a.k.a. the impeachment trial overseers), choose to shine a spotlight on his and the Obama administration’s corruption regarding Ukraine.

One wonders how/why this scenario could’ve ever happened, and how/why the Washington Democrat powers-that-be failed to recognize that the course of their own nominating process would be disrupted and essentially destroyed by their own doing. There are a couple other modern impeachment-type timelines they should’ve referred to for guidance on how long the action takes. Then all they would’ve needed to do was count forward x number of congressional session days and they could arrive at a potential d-day for impeachment.

But this involves math, common sense and reasonable powers of deduction, which none of the top House Democrats appears to possess in adult-sized quantities. Nancy Pelosi and crew were under such intense pressure to pick a fight with Trump that they listened too intently to the political hotheads in their caucus and now all heck’s broken loose just as Mayor Pete and the others are braving the cold and skeptical crowds in the first two voting states. Shockingly, Buttigieg holds comfortable leads (for a 20+ candidate field) in both Iowa and New Hampshire, a circumstance no one would’ve predicted a few months ago.  

Equally surprising, national poll leader Biden runs fourth in both states. Normally, being mentioned in the top four wouldn’t necessarily be problematic for a presidential candidate, but Grampa Joe isn’t your run-of-the-mill frontrunner. As by far the highest profile Democrat “moderate” candidate heading into the race, Biden was expected to compete, if not win, the opening balloting in the Midwest and northeast. Riding a wave of post-Obama administration goodwill, Biden was thought to engender the personality, optimism and capability that Democrats saw in “The One” -- but the candidate hasn’t exactly lived up to the task.

Hillary Clinton won in Iowa in 2016 (barely, by a quarter percentage point, and critics argued she stole the tally) and Bernie Sanders prevailed in New Hampshire (a drubbing, actually, by over 20 points), a hardly uncommon split-decision that kept both in the race yet didn’t provide much additional momentum for either going into South Carolina and the Super Tuesday states. By contrast, if Buttigieg were to somehow best the large field of seemingly more qualified Democrats in both jurisdictions, it would establish the thirty-something medium-city-guy-in-a-redder-than-red-state as their clear leader.

Buttigieg’s skill with audiences would be recognized and gushed over. Pundits would dribble about his appeal to young Democrats and the “woke” hipsters. Celebrities would start singing his praises on entertainment awards shows and he’d earn gobs of free media from the adoring press.

Such an occurrence would be astonishing. The media would be all over the story of an openly gay Millennial trouncing his tired, careworn and out-of-touch septuagenarian party elders in the places that matter most -- at the grassroots level. Liberals would label Buttigieg as the white, homosexual embodiment of Obama’s movement to transform America. Because of his current overwhelming standing with black voters, Biden could conceivably hold out in South Carolina, but the precedent would’ve already been established and “Mayor Pete” would be in the race for the long run.

And that’s bad news for Democrats. The party elites are still smarting from contentious nominating battles in 2008 and 2016 and they must be sweating bullets contemplating another one involving their perceived “electable” candidate (Grampa Joe) and a guy who was born a year after Ronald Reagan was sworn in as president. Biden was already in the senate for nearly a decade when Mayor Pete drew his first breath (born January 19, 1982, see below). Joe will look even older, more frail and weirder than he does now, falling before a guy less than half his age and with a micro-fraction of his worldly, supposedly-unparalleled experience.

The failed impeachment effort will henceforth be cited as unfavorably influencing the early states and things could easily get nasty, especially if Buttigieg begins splintering the traditional race-based Democrat coalitions. People will claim -- perhaps legitimately -- that the outcomes might’ve been different if “Pocahontas” Warren or Bernie had been on-scene to rally their supporters at the last minute instead of stuck staring with catatonic glares at the House prosecutors.

The party’s far-left isn’t happy about Buttigieg’s rise either. “Squad” leader and premier House rabble rouser Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently cautioned Pete about using too many “Republican talking points” in his attempts to sound “moderate” and distinguish himself from his outwardly socialist big government opponents (ahem, Sanders and Warren -- though AOC has already endorsed “The Bern”).

Impeachment aside, Biden’s not doing himself any favors with his always unpredictable campaign trail behavior. Stephen Kruiser reported at PJ Media, “The long holiday weekend wasn’t good for Biden’s public case for his sanity. Maybe it was just the turkey tryptophan getting to him, or maybe his last tether to reality has been done in by too much campaign trail chicken, but Crazy Joe is toast mentally...

“If Biden were your uncle or grandfather, the family would be having a difficult but necessary conversation about getting him some full-time care. This guy needs a nurse, not priority access to weapons of mass destruction. He’s at the point where he probably shouldn’t even be trusted with metal utensils during meals.

“I don’t think Biden is getting senile or going crazy. He has always been a spaz with no impulse control. … There is a big difference between Biden’s lack of impulse control and President Trump’s lack of a verbal filter. Being a little too off the cuff is not as cringe-worthy as public nibbling and groping.”

Consult Kruiser’s story for a full accounting of Biden’s latest oddball antics, which included biting his wife’s finger while she was making an introductory speech and then a video surfaced of him talking warmly about how kids used to love to rub his fuzzy hairy legs. A lot of people argue he’s losing it.

Perhaps Biden’s nibbling incident was a throwback to rocker Ozzy Osbourne’s biting the head off a bat in Iowa on January 20, 1982 (the day after Buttigieg was born! What a bizarre coincidence!) Something about that clean farm-fresh air in Iowa just makes people want to bite things, it seems. Or maybe it’s because Biden and Ozzy have similar mental makeups. Just a theory.

Biden could start playing Ozzy’s “Diary of a Madman” as his campaign bumper music. (Or Mr. Crowley?) Who knows, maybe it would improve his sinking poll standing with the young cool kids… and the forty and fifty-somethings in addition.

Joe’s strange behavior won’t save him from the scrutiny he’s destined to receive if Democrats choose to put President Trump on trial over his routine conversation with the Ukrainian president. Voters aren’t about to cashier Trump over such trivial deviations from decorum. And the whole gesture threatens to wreck their presidential race, too.

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