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Assault on America, Day 461: Democrats use coronavirus to launch more Trump witch hunts

Adam Schiff Commission
(Somewhere in the Capitol region late last week.)

Buuuzzzzzz. Buuuzzzzzz. Buuuzzzzzz. “How may I serve you, Comrade “Chucky”?”

“Get Nancy Pelosi on the phone, now if not sooner,” “Chucky” Schumer demanded to his remotely working assistant. The Minority Leader had just received and read President Donald Trump’s two-page letter and was more irritated than usual because of it. Like his party’s would-be presidential nominee, Joe Biden, Schumer’s been mostly hiding out of sight pretending to keep his “social distance” due to the COVID-19 coronavirus, but in reality he’s used the time away from Congress to plot with Speaker Pelosi and her House Democrat goon squad members their next political move to get rid of the president. Be it another whack at the impeachment pinata or by disgracing the man so badly he couldn’t possibly compete in November, it was a daunting challenge.

“This is so insulting,” “Chucky” mumbled to himself, but he also couldn’t help chuckling at the poignant truths in the president’s memorandum. In his annoying and grating nasally New York intonation, the Democrat leader unthinkingly read some of it aloud. “I’ve known you for many years, but I never knew how bad a senator you are for the state of New York until I became president.”

“Hmpf. That’s what he thinks,” “Chucky” retorted to the empty room. “I’m much worse than that. Even the president of the United States doesn’t have access to our party planning and strategy meetings. There isn’t a thing he can do to stop what we’re about to do to him and his obstructionist Republican bootlickers. This coronavirus thing has been just what we needed after impeachment to show the world what a dunce Trump really is.”

Realizing he was actually speaking the words rather than keeping his reflections confined within his own skull, “Chucky” read some more from Trump’s letter. “If you spent less time on your ridiculous impeachment hoax, which went haplessly on forever and ended up going nowhere (except increasing my poll numbers) and instead focused on helping the people of New York, then New York would not have been so completely unprepared for the ‘invisible enemy.’ No wonder AOC and others are thinking about running against you in the primary. If they did, they would likely win.”

“Chucky” couldn’t care less what Trump thought about his political prospects, but to insinuate that that little twit Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would beat him in a primary -- now those are fighting words! “She’s (meaning AOC) an idiot who doesn’t understand the first thing about the swamp,” “Chucky” snapped to a photo of the House Democrat caucus, the members of “The Squad” noticeably beaming and clowning for the camera.

Just as Schumer was about to pick up the nearest object and hurl it at the already pockmarked (from his frequent tantrums) wall, he heard Nancy Pelosi’s voice travel through his speaker phone. “What’s up, ‘Chucky’? Your assistant said you were troubled,” asked his cheery 80-year-old San Franciscan political soulmate, a little over ten years his senior, in her best condescending elitist sing-songy voice.

“Yeah,” “Chucky” grumbled. “I got this letter from Trump. He said I was a much worse senator than he’d ever imagined and that I’d lose to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez if she ran against me -- can you believe it?” Pelosi remained silent, which Schumer interpreted as agreeing with Trump’s thesis, which only aggravated his mood further. ‘That’s hurtful’ he thought to himself. But there were bigger fish to fry that morning.

“Nancy, we gotta do something about Trump this time,” “Chucky” pleaded. “He’s going on TV every day standing next to those pencil-necked medical people who understand a hell of a lot more about viruses and contagion and stuff than we’ll ever know while we’re stuck complaining about not getting enough money for the Kennedy Center and that Trump was slow to react to all of this, blah, blah, blah.” The distraught near-septuagenarian continued, “We can’t let this crisis go to waste. Who originally said that anyway, was it Obama (no, it was Rahm Emanuel, but close)? Anyway, just wanted to check and see what schemes you’ve got cooking.”

“Chucky” was about to blurt out, “what potions you’re brewing in your cauldron,” but caught himself before the words slipped past his lips. “Oh yeah, one more thing -- have you ever noticed how Mike Pence never changes his expressions? It’s almost impossible to get a bad picture of him for our propaganda publications.”

As she often does, Pelosi snickered at “Chucky’s” quirky and ever-present sense of humor. ‘It’s so difficult to find something to be happy about,’ she thought, and worked harder than usual to soften the rantings of this pampered soul from Brooklyn. It wasn’t easy to remain upbeat. Trump had cut so many things from their “wish-list” in the coronavirus relief bill, which she knew would be impossible to get otherwise.

Nevertheless, San Fran Nan offered him a ray of hope. “Not to worry, ‘Chucky’. Me and the Schiff-ster (Adam Schiff) and Jerry (Nadler) and the impeachment manager gang got a conference call set for this afternoon. We’ve got some things in the works that are gonna make Trump look a lot less appealing to the public. Who cares about all hours-long daily press events? We’re planning to investigate the sh-t out of him again! Adam’s (Schiff) still got all his binders full of notes from the Ukraine whistleblower, and, when added to the COVID-19 epidemic, we’re gonna nail his rear end to the wall within days!”

Hearing this, “Chucky” grinned widely and shed a tear of joy, the first such gleeful emotion he’d been able to muster in months.

--This fictional (?) depiction of the relationship between “Chucky” and Nancy (probably) isn’t real, but the part about Pelosi embarking on more baseless witch hunts certainly is. Byron York wrote at The Washington Examiner, “The team is back in action. On Thursday, Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the creation of the House Select Committee on the Coronavirus Crisis. The new panel will have the authority to investigate any aspect of the virus emergency and the Trump administration's handling of it.

“Pelosi's announcement came a day after House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff called for a 9/11-style independent commission to investigate ‘mistakes’ in the virus response. Shortly after that, Schiff told the Washington Post that in Congress, House Democrats must investigate the Trump administration's handling of virus testing and the government's distribution of personal protective equipment for healthcare workers...

“Pelosi also gave Democrats room to go after Trump for whatever reason they choose. ‘The committee will be empowered to examine all aspects of the federal response to the coronavirus,’ she wrote. Among those powers, she added, will be the ability to ‘press to ensure that the federal response is based on the best possible science and guided by the nation's best health experts.’ That could mean just about anything.”

Yes indeed, it could mean just about anything -- and it likely will. The hyper partisan Democrats couldn’t possibly sit idly by while Trump’s approval ratings for his handling of the coronavirus (or more aptly named, CCP virus) outbreak improve by the day. This isn’t saying the president’s suddenly become acceptable to the other side’s voters, but reasonable Americans recognize an effective leader is on the job and everything humanly possible is being done to work the problem rather than merely guess.

Matters of life and death are apolitical except to the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff -- and “Chucky” Schumer too. They see doddering Grampa Joe Biden stumbling and bumbling his way through his home sequester media appearances and realize there won’t be many opportunities in the next couple months (or longer) to get their man in front of crowds of people to campaign. Time slips by and so do the Democrats’ chances of besting Trump.

York pointed out that Congress has a legitimate duty to oversee certain executive functions, so oversight is certainly called for in terms of spending and distributing the massive amounts of aid the body approved (and Trump signed) to try and make a dent in the damage this crisis is inflicting all over. Late last week a report surfaced that indicated a quarter of all small businesses were in danger of permanently closing. Considering millions upon millions of Americans work for such companies, this news was devastating.

And yet it’s clear Pelosi, Schiff and company are once again dead set on conducting another deep probe into Trump and his administration. Don’t be shocked when their “experts” uniformly criticize the administration’s response to the rapidly evolving pandemic, including his late January China travel ban. Democrats can’t do anything without injecting some form of racial component into the equation. This new “commission” would be no different.

York additionally reported conservative Jim Jordan’s response to Pelosi’s latest investigation conspiracy ploy. “It's the same old, same old. They never miss a beat to get political and go after the president.” Sad to say, it’s true.

There seems to be one other motivation at work here. As Trump highlighted in his letter to “Chucky” Schumer, the Democrats were busy pressing their inane impeachment farce at the same time reports were surfacing about the dire situation in Wuhan, China and the possibility the twenty-first century plague would spread the world over. If anything, Democrats are the ones who took attention away from the real problem and delayed diligent actions by weeks if not more.

Anyone feel good about it now? Adam Schiff’s hour upon hour of televised lies and distortions from the Senate chamber didn’t amount to a hill of beans, but he certainly commandeered media focus and adoration. Logically speaking, millions of people could end up with the disease because of impeachment. How does that strike you?

This House Democrat “commission” will serve as yet another distraction from their purely partisan impeachment fiasco. One wonders if Mitt Romney, the only Republican in either chamber to assent to removing the president, would change his mind now given the present circumstances. If there’s anything positive to come from all of this, it’s the fact independent voters will note how petty and vindictive Pelosi, Schumer and most Democrats truly are.

Needless to say, Grampa Joe Biden is another publicity “victim.” Spencer Neale reported at The Washington Examiner, “In the midst of a pandemic that has shuttered businesses and wreaked havoc on supply chains around the world, Democrats are worried about the inability of former Vice President Joe Biden to command attention from people.

“On Friday, MSNBC analyst John Heilemann said there was a ‘super high’ level of frustration inside the Biden campaign as the Democratic presidential front-runner struggles to gain the spotlight while President Trump dominates news coverage with near-daily coronavirus task force briefings.

“’Frustration levels are super high,’ Heilemann said during an appearance on MSNBC's Morning Joe. ‘The reality is that the former vice president is in a terrible position. In the sense that he doesn’t have a platform. He doesn’t have real standing in this crisis.’”

Think about it. Not only is Biden’s bunker routine depriving him of much needed exposure, Pelosi’s and Schiff’s “commission” will only make his isolation worse. There’s only so much time in every media day and the more minutes the establishment talkers devote to the latest congressional witch hunts the smaller and more insignificant window for ‘ol back slappin’ Joe to bust out of his self-induced political coma.

Try as they might, Democrats’ efforts to investigate and censure President Trump over the administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic are destined to fail. There simply isn’t a way the liberal party can attack the “wartime” leader without looking petty and partisan. It’s another sad aspect of the strange times we’re living in.

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