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Assault on America, Day 574: Joe Biden’s agonizing quest for a mini-me drawing to a close

Kamala Harris
Grampa Joe Biden’s VP search hindered by worries over a post-Trump Democrat world


As nominee-to-be Joe Biden and fellow Democrats agonize over the singularly all-consuming dilemma of which woman will end up on the former Obama veep’s presidential ticket, it’s important to remember that party unity will basically evaporate once the final selection is made. And, should the ticket validate the polls forecasting a resounding win in November, how will Democrats possibly function without the figure of President Donald Trump to shout, gesticulate at and insult?

It doesn’t take a genius to state that Trump is the man Democrats love to hate, the Republican standard-bearer who gives as good or better than he gets. They were waiting for this opportunity to go full-bore crazy, too.

It could be argued that Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford (though not really), Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush were mere warm-up bands for the headlining Democrat hate-Trump act. Each president engendered a furious media response and endured waves of animosity and unfair characterizations, but none have come close to the level of fury that Trump arouses in the establishment.

Think about it; Nixon was “Tricky Dick”, the president who could’ve easily inspired the old hippy adage, “Never trust anyone over 30.” Ford was the disgraced almost-impeached chief executive’s successor, the nation’s only unelected White House occupant who was constantly caricatured as doltish and clumsy despite having been an accomplished college athlete. Reagan probably comes closest to the Trump degree of liberal abhorrence because he was the most effective at countering the swamp despite the media’s portrayals of the Great Communicator as a former actor intellectual lightweight and a warmonger.

George H.W. Bush? Well, liberals pushed him pretty easily to the side with the “wimp factor,” a sleazy untruth that might’ve amped up the forty-first president’s bellicosity in sending troops into Kuwait to oust Saddam Hussein’s army. Similarly, son George W. battled the media created image of him being stupid, incompetent and a tool of the Hawkish neoconservatives, a Yale-educated party-boy who only advanced in life because of his last name.

No matter. Trump -- or a man like Trump -- was the one the media was anxiously waiting for. John McCain was far too wishy-washy and Mitt Romney too lampoonable to be taken seriously. The journos are okay with the establishment types. But what about when Trump’s no longer there to kick on a daily basis? It has some Democrats worried, especially in relation to governing the country in a post-Trump world. The fright has crept into Biden’s odyssey to find a simpatico number two as well.

Ryan Lizza wrote at Politico, “As Biden conducts a series of interviews with a final list of potential running mates ahead of his August decision, his biggest concern is that there is nobody on his list with whom he has any previous deep relationship.

“According to conversations with a dozen Democrats — a mix of elected officials, formal campaign advisers, and outside strategists, most of whom were granted anonymity to share their candid assessments — Biden pines for a partner who could be to him what he was to Obama: a friend and confidante who subsumed his political interests to those of his boss…

“Given the number of difficult decisions Biden will have to make in his first year as president and the ideological divides that are likely to open up once Democrats are in power and no longer unified by disgust with Trump, Biden is said to want someone who will not prioritize their own political ambitions.”

Democrats and the media sometimes forget how important Trump is to them. Because of the current president’s strong personality and fondness for generating controversy (whether intentionally or otherwise), liberal politicians don’t need to come up with justifications for their lightly thought-through candidacies. And lord knows, they don’t feel compelled to ingest common sense or an ability to explain the factual footing for their issue proposals. All any Democrat must do is steer the conversation back towards Trump and it gets the squawkers on CNN, MSNBC, “The View” and most of Hollywood thoroughly agitated.

But what would a post-Trump world look like in Democrat-land? Liberals have made so many promises to so many constituencies based on identity politics and political correctness that they will all fight like cats and dogs once they’re forced to choose who gets to gnaw on the carcass first. How, for example, can Democrats claim to be for Black Lives Matter when illegal immigrants threaten to overwhelm the inner-city communities where African-Americans dominate? And what will take place when hordes of Hispanics are legalized and given the vote -- drastically reducing black Democrats’ political power.

Southern California is an interesting case study. What were formally black neighborhoods began slowly changing over in the eighties and nineties. Drive through those places today (if you dare, sans police protection) and the storefronts are in Spanish and you’ll need a translator to read the billboards.

Biden will be stuck in the middle, which is why he wants a female “Mini-me” to be his sidekick. Or like the old Joe Piscopo routine where the comedian spoofed self-possessed playboy rocker David Lee Roth, singing “Baby, I wish I was you so I could make love to me.” The problem in such assessment is there isn’t any woman alive who thinks (or doesn’t think?) just like the cognitively slipping 77-year-old Biden, and there doesn’t seem to be many good candidates to be the type of passive boot-licker that he appears to covet.

The 36-year senate veteran was perfect for Obama, since Biden was so institutionalized that he didn’t know how to formulate contrary opinions. Serving alongside dinosaurs like Teddy Kennedy and KKK hack Senator Robert Byrd for all of his time in the upper chamber, the good ‘ol boys club was the perfect recruiting grounds for a back slappin’, shoulders massagin’, hairdo sniffin’, nude swimmin’ and sexual assault denyin’ dufus like Grampa Joe. Biden was the epitome of a Washington swamp creature who would sit down and shut up when instructed to do so.

No wonder Biden is agonizing over his own decision. Lizza’s article suggested Democrat consultants feel there are a lot of good candidates but no perfect ones. I’d argue that there aren’t many good possibilities to begin with -- gals who check the right “boxes” -- and whomever Joe does offer the job to will be basically praying that the nominee lasts until Inauguration Day and then start plotting the old man’s demise.

Democrat experts seem to think Kamala Harris is the leading prospect (full disclosure: I do too) simply because she “fits the suit.” She’s young enough (55 years-old), ethnic enough (black and Indian-American), liberal enough (a tradition-trouncing revolutionary who would enthusiastically back any crackpot nonsense the party’s minds dreamed up) and combative to the core. As a several-times statewide elected politician from the leftist dreamland that is California, Harris has instant street credibility with the party grassroots.

But is she likable like Grampa Joe? Can you imagine Kamala being summoned to the Oval Office and suppressing her ego when the president doesn’t accept her counsel on some hot topic of the hour? Can you see Harris dutifully standing in the background (like Joe did for Obama) while the doddering dunce commits gaffe after gaffe? What will happen in the 2024 election when the Biden administration ends up a total failure?

It will make liberals miss Trump even more. Governing can be so challenging, can’t it? It’s a lot harder and less stimulating when the onus is on you to satisfy your goody-seeking constituents. Biden can hide away in his basement most of the time these days, but if he’s given responsibility for the nuclear codes, it’s a whole new ballgame. And there aren’t any do-overs.

Good luck finding that perfect political soulmate, Joe. This isn’t the senate where half the people around you agree with everything you pretend to stand for and another third won’t speak up because they’re busy protecting their hindquarters in an election year. Being a charter member of the Washington swamp won’t save you either. And neither will your running mate when she views you as a political liability on her journey to becoming the first female American president.

What Biden must ask his would-be running mates

Last week we speculated that Grampa Joe Biden, as part of his vetting process, would present his interviewees with a political pre-nuptial agreement to guarantee good behavior if they ever reach office together. With the nominee-to-be’s decision even closer at hand, perhaps it’s time to contemplate the questions he’s posing to his final contestants -- and how a consultant would recommend they answer them. Call it a mock interview.

Questioner posing as Biden: “Hey, candidate x, how are you? (Answer: Great, Joe! You’re looking rested! It’s almost like you haven’t been outside in months!) As you know, I’m planning on announcing my VP choice in the coming days. I just have a couple things I want to go over. Is that okay? I know how sensitive women are. (Answer: Yes.)

He continues, “It’s not cool to say these days, but here’s the deal: I’m an old guy, so I need a couple things from you. I need to know that you’re ready to step into the position on the first day and I also am looking for someone who I get along with, you know, chumsy-wumsy like me ‘n Barack were. That’s no malarkey. We can talk about issue positions after the decision is made, because you’re gonna have to back me up no matter what I say. Are you good with it?”

Candidate x: “Oh yes, Joe! I’m totally ready to become president on day one, and here’s why. First off, I’m a woman, and therefore I’m better able to understand people than any man would ever be. Um, except for you of course, Joe! And I’ve been a woman all my life, which means I know what transgender women are going through during their transitions. I don’t even like men. I’m ready! Pick me! Pick me!”

Questioner (as Joe): “That’s great! I don’t like men either (he gets a little crooked smile on his face and feigns elbowing the candidate in the side) -- it was mine and the big O’s little secret. What about the ‘can we get along’ part?”

Candidate x: “Yeah! I’ve been mingling with people my whole life, Joe. Don’t believe that tabloid story about how I used to throw objects at my staff and talked down to inferiors. I’m no Amy Klobuchar! I definitely see us getting along and I’ll support you and won’t ever try to smuggle in controlled substances to the White House to slip in your food. Women don’t belong in the kitchen anyway. Again, pick me! Pick me!”

Questioner (as Joe): “That’s it! You are very well qualified, much better than these other losers (Points to a stack of files on his desk, each with a tab indicating ‘Candidate x.’). I’ll have my girl call your girl and let you know what me ‘n the guys come up with. Ciao!”

Could winning really be losing for Democrats this year?

Regardless of who Grampa Joe Biden settles on for his running mate, they’re going to have a heck of a time keeping their competing factions together even if they do win. Participants in leftist movements have a way of turning on each other after the “revolution” removes the prior regime -- no one is safe.

Roger L. Simon wrote at The Epoch Times the other day, “Some say that after Biden is elected, COVID will miraculously die down and the country will suddenly go quiet and peaceful, demonstrations diminishing. It well might—but only for what amounts to a few minutes.

“One thing that will not be happening is conditions in the country getting better. Biden’s economic plans, heavily under the influence of AOC and others from his left he seems terrified of confronting, will only make things worse.

“In a short while, the radical groups will be back in the streets again, demanding changes that can never be satisfied short of revolution—and even then, if history is any guide, will continue on Robespierre-style into oblivion.”

It's easy to see this happening. Biden’s whipped up the country into thinking everyone who doesn’t regurgitate the radicals’ rhetoric is a racist. Forget about the coronavirus -- the real danger is the social unrest. Infections can be treated. But what about when neighbor is pitted against neighbor because the liberal political class fanned flames of paranoia to get elected?

If, as expected, Joe picks a minority woman for his VP, don’t be surprised if he himself is targeted as a racist if he says something stupid to the woman or fails to give her a prominent-enough role in the public relations spin operation. You heard it here.

They’d never admit it, but Democrats are scared to death of the prospect of having to govern in a post-Trump world, since he’s the only thing that unites them. Grampa Joe Biden must be vacillating over the different women on his short list, afraid of making the wrong choice -- but even more terrified of making the right one.

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