Richard Viguerie praises McCain for embrace of 'deficit hawk' David Walker, Viguerie: Conservatives are watching VP choice, Washington politicians are again covering up the true size of the federal deficit
BREAKING: Establishment Republicans Break to Form New Third Party!
-- Abandoned by the grassroots, disenfranchised GOPers break ranks –
-- Crist enthused, Bennett contemplates, Specter may join! --
Washington, D.C. (May 20th 2010) – In a bold preemptive move in anticipation of Tea Partiers, conservatives, and other regular Americans taking over the Republican Party, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele today announced the Republican Party is itself forming a third party for establishment Republicans.
“Reading The Washington Post, we didn’t see it coming, but it is now evident to the professional consultants and lobbyists who have been running the Republican Party that we are about to be betrayed by the voters,” said Steele. “No establishment Republican incumbent is safe, so we decided to go the third-party route.”
“Rather than go through the grueling process of primaries where we’re losing badly, incumbent establishment Republicans see this new third party, which we’ve named the Establishment Republican Party (ERP), as the future of big government,” continued outgoing RNC Chairman Steele. “The Democrats have shown their incompetence, but many of us in the GOP can’t stomach the Tea Partiers and other grassroots conservatives, who insist we stand for something. Isn’t being against the Democrats good enough anymore?”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said, “I’m quite comfortable hand-picking my colleagues myself, and this Tea Party thing seems almost too impolite for this Kentucky gentleman.”
Florida Republican Governor and Independent candidate for U.S. Senate, Charlie Crist, emphatically agreed in third person. “Charlie Crist is tired of not knowing from day to day what he should stand for or whose campaign money to take. It sounds like ERP was made just for Charlie Crist, and Charlie Crist certainly likes that.”
Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter was quick to comment after his defeat in the Democratic primary. “People outside the Beltway don’t appreciate how difficult it is for repeat party switchers like me to live up to the standards of any political party, which is why I welcome ERP for a second – no, third chance.”
Reaction from Wall Street was immediate, as the Street began pumping money into ERP to begin balancing out its donations to Democrats. “Crony capitalism could not survive under a principled Republican Party,” said one bank executive.
Steele marveled at his choice for the new third party logo, the porcus, saying it reflected the basic essence of ERP.
“We have a big-trough porcine philosophy,” said Steele. “Our grow-government approach is slower than the Democrats, but that doesn’t mean our candidates have principles. We believe in compassionate crony capitalism, compassionate constitutionalism, compassionate bipartisanship, and compassionate establishmentarianism. Our motto should be ‘compassion trumps principle every day.’ Maybe one of the consultants can work that into our next fundraising ad.”
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The preceding press release is political satire from ConservativeHQ.com. No establishment politicians or porcine principles were harmed in the drafting of this release.
PRESS RELEASE
Establishment Republican Party (ERP)
The Nelson Rockefeller Building
K Street
Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) GET-PORC
BREAKING: Establishment Republicans Break to Form New Third Party!
-- Abandoned by the grassroots, disenfranchised GOPers break ranks –
-- Crist enthused, Bennett contemplates, Specter may join! --
Washington, D.C. (May 20th 2010) – In a bold preemptive move in anticipation of Tea Partiers, conservatives, and other regular Americans taking over the Republican Party, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele today announced the Republican Party is itself forming a third party for establishment Republicans.
“Reading The Washington Post, we didn’t see it coming, but it is now evident to the professional consultants and lobbyists who have been running the Republican Party that we are about to be betrayed by the voters,” said Steele. “No establishment Republican incumbent is safe, so we decided to go the third-party route.”
“Rather than go through the grueling process of primaries where we’re losing badly, incumbent establishment Republicans see this new third party, which we’ve named the Establishment Republican Party (ERP), as the future of big government,” continued outgoing RNC Chairman Steele. “The Democrats have shown their incompetence, but many of us in the GOP can’t stomach the Tea Partiers and other grassroots conservatives, who insist we stand for something. Isn’t being against the Democrats good enough anymore?”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said, “I’m quite comfortable hand-picking my colleagues myself, and this Tea Party thing seems almost too impolite for this Kentucky gentleman.”
Florida Republican Governor and Independent candidate for U.S. Senate, Charlie Crist, emphatically agreed in third person. “Charlie Crist is tired of not knowing from day to day what he should stand for or whose campaign money to take. It sounds like ERP was made just for Charlie Crist, and Charlie Crist certainly likes that.”
Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter was quick to comment after his defeat in the Democratic primary. “People outside the Beltway don’t appreciate how difficult it is for repeat party switchers like me to live up to the standards of any political party, which is why I welcome ERP for a second – no, third chance.”
Reaction from Wall Street was immediate, as the Street began pumping money into ERP to begin balancing out its donations to Democrats. “Crony capitalism could not survive under a principled Republican Party,” said one bank executive.
Steele marveled at his choice for the new third party logo, the porcus, saying it reflected the basic essence of ERP.
“We have a big-trough porcine philosophy,” said Steele. “Our grow-government approach is slower than the Democrats, but that doesn’t mean our candidates have principles. We believe in compassionate crony capitalism, compassionate constitutionalism, compassionate bipartisanship, and compassionate establishmentarianism. Our motto should be ‘compassion trumps principle every day.’ Maybe one of the consultants can work that into our next fundraising ad.”
###
The preceding press release is political satire from ConservativeHQ.com. No establishment politicians or porcine principles were harmed in the drafting of this release.
Northern Virginians, come hear Richard Viguerie, Chairman of ConservativeHQ.com , speak March 20 at an event to be held in Chantilly, Virginia. The event, “The Tea Party Patriot Movement: Vindicating the Founders,” is sponsored by Restore the Founders Vision, a Virginia based organization that seeks to re-establish in the minds of Americans the principles shared by the Founders of the Republic.
Speakers in addition to Mr.Viguerie include David Mason, former Chairman of the Federal Election Commission, Patrick McSweeney, a constitutional lawyer and former Chairman of the Republican Party of Virginia, and Jamie Radtke, Chairman of Virginia Tea Party Patriots.
Mr. Viguerie will be speaking on the topic “How the Tea Party Patriot Movement will change America for the better.”
The event will be held at Chantilly Regional Library, located at 4000 Stringfellow Road in Chantilly, and is scheduled to start at 2:30 pm and end at 5:00 pm.
Northern Virginians, come hear Richard Viguerie, Chairman of ConservativeHQ.com , speak March 20 at an event to be held in Chantilly, Virginia. The event, “The Tea Party Patriot Movement: Vindicating the Founders,” is sponsored by Restore the Founders Vision, a Virginia based organization that seeks to re-establish in the minds of Americans the principles shared by the Founders of the Republic.
Speakers in addition to Mr.Viguerie include David Mason, former Chairman of the Federal Election Commission, Patrick McSweeney, a constitutional lawyer and former Chairman of the Republican Party of Virginia, and Jamie Radtke, Chairman of Virginia Tea Party Patriots.
Mr. Viguerie will be speaking on the topic “How the Tea Party Patriot Movement Will Change America for the Better.”
The event will be held at Chantilly Regional Library, located at 4000 Stringfellow Road in Chantilly, and is scheduled to start at 2:30 pm and end at 5:00 pm.
Earlier this month, RINO California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (you know, the guy who's helped drive his own state to the edge of bankruptcy) told Fox News's Greta Van Susteren that the tea party movement "is not going anywhere".
Talk about out of touch.
The only thing that is not going anywhere is Schwarzegger's failed political career.
Earlier this month, RINO California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (you know, the guy who's helped drive his own state to the edge of bankruptcy) told Fox News's Greta Van Susteren that the tea party movement "is not going anywhere".
Talk about out of touch.
The only thing that is not going anywhere is Schwarzegger's failed political career.
Mark White, the Tea Party backed candidate who earlier scored an upset victory in the Republican primary, last night won a resounding victory in a special election for a seat in the Tennessee General Assembly. White won the race in the 83rd District with a resounding 68% of the vote. Mark Skoda, organizer of the Memphis Tea Party, the group which backed White early on, credited the on the ground get-out-the vote efforts of local tea party members for White's primary and general election wins.
Mark White, the Tea Party backed candidate who earlier scored an upset victory in the Republican primary, last night won a resounding victory in a special election for a seat in the Tennessee General Assembly. White won the race in the 83rd District with a resounding 68% of the vote. Mark Skoda, organizer of the Memphis Tea Party, the group which backed White early on, credited the on the ground get-out-the vote efforts of local tea party members for White's primary and general election wins.
