On the eve of Halloween, seven Democrats gathered in Philadelphia to debate, and the results were… frightening.

 
It’s all too easy to poke fun at the timing of this latest meeting of the Democrats, but this event, like the last Republican debate, featured by far the best exchanges – and for the first time, a real attempt by her competitors to go after her paper-thin record and speak of Hillary Clinton by name.

 
That being said, the competitors could’ve just as easily been dressed in Halloween costumes for the weight of their arguments, as they’re all stepping up the socialism-speak in order to try and attract the greatest share of the Democratic liberal base. 

 
Hillary Clinton said that all the Republicans like to do is talk about her (which is true), but at the same time, all she wants to do is talk about the Bush Administration. Can’t hardly fault her for that – there’s plenty to bash when it comes to George W. – but if she’s relying on substance, as she claims to be, her eagerness to deflect everything towards a lame duck president comes off rather mean, or… ‘lame.’

 
For the sake of analogy, and since it’s Halloween, the Democrats should’ve been dressed up as the characters from ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ because that’s how they came across to the national television audience – like they were in a play, or on the big screen. It was quite the theatrical production for them, nearly an academy award winning performance in terms of entertainment value.

 
There was only one female actor on stage, but she clearly played the ‘Wicked Witch of the West.’ Sorry, Hillary. No one can blame you for looking a little annoyed when everyone around you, save for Bill Richardson, was sniping at your heels. But you also have earned a reputation over the years for a rather harsh personality, and for the first time (at least in a debate format), that Dick Morris described ‘other side to her’ was evident before all.

 
On Tuesday night, Hillary's political opponents were grabbing buckets and dousing her with proverbial water the entire evening – and the ‘wicked witch’ melted down, too. Those ruby slippers were beyond her grasp, at least for the moment, so her frustration was coming through.

 
With apologies to John Edwards, he played ‘Dorothy.’ No, it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, and there’s no need to compare me to Ann Coulter – but Edwards is the one who lives in a perpetual fantasy world, so who else could play the little girl who bumped her head and was transported to the magical ‘Land of Oz?’

 
Edwards persists in describing the clash between the haves and have-nots in society, but how does he stand up there with his beauty salon appearance and wide-spread public knowledge of his 28,000 square foot home and think that people will buy into his populist message? Can this guy really be the champion of the people, the trial lawyer who’s stepped on and crushed any number of ‘little folks’ (munchkins?) along the way? Isn’t Edwards Mr. Hedge Fund?

 
Edwards might as well start skipping on that yellow-brick-road and break into a rousing rendition of ‘We’re off to see the Wizard’ every time it’s his turn to speak. His stupid facial expressions and hickory smoked accent would fit right in out in the country – the only thing lacking for Edwards’ act was a dress and a basket to carry around Toto the dog.

 
Barack Obama was the ‘Scarecrow.’ No, Obama’s not really searching for a brain – he’s clearly got all the brains he needs. But he’s the most sympathetic character of all the Democrats, an attractive young man who’s well spoken and likable, but Obama’s also the one that’s clearly made of straw – he doesn’t have the experience or resume to lead the greatest nation on earth, and when he was asked about his qualifications, even admitted that most of his experience is on the legislative side.

 
Obama wins points when he talks about openness and credibility in government, especially when he’s standing next to Hillary Clinton – but when you pick him up, he’s light as dried hay. Better stay away from fire, scarecrow Obama.

 
Joe Biden is the ‘Wizard of Oz,’ only he’s not really hiding behind a curtain when he’s up there shouting and gesticulating. He’s good for lots of catchy lines, too.

 
Biden thunders and shouts when he speaks, a commanding presence that doesn’t need flash or fire to make himself known. Biden is the ‘Wizard’ who sends the players to go find the wicked witch’s broom, and then is forced to admit, when they actually bring it back – that he really doesn’t have any magical powers at all.

 
Biden certainly comes across as the most credible Democrat in foreign policy, but for those with long political memories, you still remember that he’s the ‘fake’ that plagiarizes speeches and hides behind a screen of anger to camouflage a total lack of substance.

 
Does anyone recall what he did to Clarence Thomas, strictly for political purposes? Biden’s a better choice than most of the others, but could he ever be trusted? Nope.

 
Chris Dodd was the ‘Tin Man’ in the Democrats’ Wizard of Oz cast. Dodd’s made so many references to his white/silver hair in the campaign that he couldn’t be anyone else. Whether he actually has a heart or not is an entirely different story, but it’s not too much of a stretch of the imagination to see him ‘rusting’ on stage and needing a squirt of oil or two to keep his joints moving.

 
Dodd seems like a nice man, too, just like the Tin Man. But he keeps touting his ‘experience,’ which to most voters means nothing because he’s standing besides people who are much more well known and financed, and his name recognition is practically zero. Dodd’s picked up a couple sizable union endorsements, but in a year where he’s taking on a pretty heavy political family legacy, he’s going to end up in the forest, frozen stiff with irrelevance.

 
Don’t forget your oil can after the Iowa caucuses, Chris, because you just might need some lubrication after that political rainstorm to send you on the plane back to Washington.

 
Who’s the ‘Cowardly Lion’ you ask? Who else, it was Dennis Kucinich! The merits of the Iraq War aside, Kucinich says he wants to drastically reduce military spending, believes that diplomacy is the end-all solution to the world’s crises, and clearly panders to the kook fringe of the left. He openly says he’s in favor of a single payer health system, wants to ditch Bush’s tax cuts (one of a VERY few things Bush has done right), and at one point, started going off on nuclear power.

 
Here’s doubting that any ‘medal’ could give this guy ‘courage.’ Kucinich is by far the biggest joke in either party who takes up time in these debates to discuss his way-out views. People have compared him to Ron Paul for the Republicans (they both talk about the Constitution a lot), but Paul has all the credibility that a ‘coward’ like Kucinich lacks.

 
Paul means what he says. Kucinich is a nut case.

 
When he admitted that he’s seen a UFO towards the end of the debate, it may just have been a bunch of flying monkeys who caused him to run off and jump into a ditch. Grab that tail and some tissues, Dennis.

 
Finally, Bill Richardson was ‘Glinda the good witch’ – the one who ultimately transported Dorothy back home to Kansas. Richardson pulled a fast one on the plot this time around, however, as instead he brought the ‘Wicked Witch’ back to life and sent her back to Kansas, chastising his fellow opponents for picking on Hillary. Shame on you, Bill, you ad-libbed your way out of a classic movie.

 
Are you running for Vice President, Bill? Must be, otherwise there was no reason to stand up as Hillary’s gentleman caller and go after your colleagues for speaking out against her hypocrisy and numerous contradictory statements that were being offered by debate moderator Tim Russert.

 
Richardson is so mild-mannered that it’s impossible not to like him, and he’s got some real funny and clever TV commercials (such as where he’s going on a ‘job interview’ to become president). But he also seems to be running farther and farther to the left to try and gain traction – he may have been the only candidate who would pledge to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, though his only use of ‘force’ would be diplomacy.

 
Richardson’s talked to some dictators in the past and won a few prizes, but it’s doubtful that he could talk Iran out of a nuclear weapon. Don’t take the pledge if you can’t back it up, Bill (and I’m NOT advocating an attack on Iran).

 
As you can see, the Democrats actually made a pretty good substitute cast for ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ It’s only a shame that the subjects they’re talking about concern the future of the United States, if not the world, and cartoon characters won’t really fill the shoes needed to deal with these most important of issues.

 
Winners and Losers

 
Hillary Clinton has such a large lead over her challengers that it’s hard to imagine anything in the Philadelphia debate would have dramatically changed things.

 
The true ‘winner’ of this debate was the pundit class who predicted that Hillary’s opponents were getting desperate and would finally start going after her. It didn’t take long for that to happen, either, as Barack Obama started off with a few digs during the opening question/answer (comparing his role in the presidential race to Rocky Balboa/Apollo Creed, another ‘movie’ reference), then it was John Edwards’ turn to jab relentlessly at the Hillary punching bag.

 
Somebody must have mentioned to these guys that we’re on the doorstep of November and Clinton is about twenty points ahead in nearly all the polls. 

 
There’s still time to expose Clinton’s lack of a record, but then again, none of her closest challengers have much of a legislative rock to stand on either. The most ‘experienced’ candidates are Biden, Richardson and Dodd (Kucinich doesn’t count), and they’re so far out of the picture that it would be impossible for them to catch up.

 
There isn’t a Mike Huckabee for the Democrats, a lower-tier candidate who could potentially break through.

 
So not much changed from this debate, the Democrats are still a party that seems supremely confident that they’ll be moving back into the White House in a little over a year’s time. Ding dong, the ‘wicked witch’ isn’t dead – she’s very much alive, and headed to the general election – we’ll see what happens then.

 

 
Hillary Clinton is taking her lead and beginning to turn her attention away from her Democratic challengers and starting to shape the 2008 election as a referendum against George W. Bush.

 
She claims to be the agent of change, but as correctly pointed out by her opponents, electing Hillary is basically going to bring more of the same. John Edwards stated it the clearest: “If people want the status quo, then Senator Clinton is your candidate.”

 
Conservatives don’t want the status quo, so Hillary Clinton couldn’t possibly be our candidate. But for this observer, none of the Democrats even comes close to being a potential alternative in the voter’s booth. They’re all competing to see who can present the broadest vision of total government control, and they’re already starting to employ the ‘the rich must pay their fair share’ rhetoric that comes along with every Democratic presidential candidate.

 
The final question of the debate went to Barack Obama, concerning what costume he would don for Halloween: “I’m going to wear a Mitt Romney mask, because it has two sides to it.”